Words of Wisdom

I don't know what brilliant mind wrote this, but it is 100% true.  So today I want you to realize none of us are perfect, especially the person looking down their nose at you.  Forgive yourself for the screw-ups, if they are that bad make a plan of attack to avoid them, and continue on.

If you are in a place where you can't figure out how to dig yourself out of a hole, you feel like you are constantly messing up.  If you are crying, sad, can't sleep, frustrated, yelling a lot, wishing you could run away more often then you are thankful you are there, realize you need someone to talk to.  Women feel this need to be perfect, and more so to have everyone else think we are perfect.  I am here to tell you, at any given point my house has dishes in the sink, my bathroom has dirty clothes on the floor, my living room needs to be swept (three cats, two dogs, eight people...), my kids eat fast food, I turn in late homework assignments, and instead of paying all my bills I postpone the unimportant ones so I can take my kids to the movies because it buys me two hours of peace and quiet and shows them I love them.  None of us are perfect.  But if you can't get past it, talk to a professional, because along with being perfect we internalize our stress.  Which puts us in a higher risk category for heart attacks, and depression issues.

Your kids love you!!!!  If you're reading my blog, it means you are trying to be a wonderful mom and you're kids appreciate you!!!!  So love yourself, and realize you are doing the best that you can.  Now go give your kids a squeeze and tell them you love them.  Right before the tickle monster comes out.

Lunchbox Silliness

Are you trying to find something a little extra to put into your kids lunchbox?  Maybe their standardized testing is coming up, or you miss them, or maybe you're doing it just because.  Here are a few ideas:

• Jokes (these can be shared and have an entire table laughing)
• Special edible treat
• A note telling them how proud you are of them
• Homemade fortune cookies
• A quick note explaining big plans that night (Chuck E. Cheese, a movie, picnic...)
• Inspirational quote from their favorite movie
• Picture you have drawn

All of these things can be made very quickly, yes even the fortune cookies, and the impact will last all day.  In fact I bet they will remember it when they have kids.

Dinner Time Conversation

Here is a simple conversation during dinner time.  Everyone has to tell a low part of their day, followed by a high part of their day.  That said, everyone should be given a time limit since some kids are attention hogs.

I'll start:  Today I quit drinking coffee, so my morning was a bit off.  But then I finished my class project and I am done for three weeks so that was awesome.

Now do it with your kids.

Rhyme Time

Do you remember rhyming as a child?  It was fun, especially if you could stump mom and dad.  Why not do that with your kids today?  You can do it while walking, cleaning, driving, eating dinner.  The only thing it requires is people and levels of attention.

Be forewarned your kids may make some words up, that is okay.  Let them.  I know my OCD parents are absolutely cringing with various looks of horror crossing their face.  If it helps, I'm with you.  But even various school systems have been letting students make up their own words and sounds to help them develop proper pronunciation.

A twist, begin every word with the same first letter or blended sound: dog, dark, dilly...

Ready?  Go...

Reading to Baby and Beyond

I have lost track of the web sites and books that tell you how important reading is to your child.  They further go on to heap mounds of guilt upon the parents who do not read to their children.  These parents are single-handedly going to be responsible for the low IQ of their child, which means there goes all hope of Harvard. And well inevitably America will follow right behind.

I'm here to absolve you of all your guilt.  No, I'm not going to tell you DON'T read to your child, that is ridiculous.  However, Junior will not fail high school because you didn't read him every Doctor Seuss book in print.  Read your children anything from the point you find out that you're pregnant on.  Babies don't care what you're reading, they just like hearing you're beautiful voice.  Take advantage of it, because in a few years your children will be locking their doors to avoid that voice!!!

So what is it okay to read to babies and young children?

• Ingredients and recipe's
• Newspaper
• Magazine article's
• Plays
• Stephen King (seriously I'm giving you permission to read terrifying stories to your babies)
• Instruction Manuals
• Signs
• Fliers

Well now your kids are mobile and they don't like to sit down to read.  What do you do?  Well you visit your library and get suggestions from a librarian.  These fabulous men and women went to college to learn the best books for all age development.  And the best part of the library the books are free and when you return them you don't have a pile laying around your house somewhere.  Tadah.

I work more than full-time.  When I get home I don't have time to read because I'm doing homework with my other kids and cooking dinner, running herd on physical activities, etc...

Do you have a computer?  Does it have a camera?  Make a few videos of you reading books.  You can save them to your laptop or to a YouTube account so your kids can access them from anywhere.

Here is another idea, kill two birds with one stone.  Most kids, if not all, are required to read nightly for elementary school.  Have your older child read out loud to the little one.  Yes, I'm promoting using your children, but it is ethical and healthy while giving you ten minutes of breathing time.

Here is a twist on an oldie but goodie.  Upload books to your kids iPod, Nabi, whatever it is they have and give it to them to listen to in the car while they turn the pages.

My elementary age child doesn't like to read.

I don't believe that.  What I believe is that he or she doesn't like to read what is being offered to him or her.  What is the selection in your house?  Are there too many pictures in it so they feel like it's a baby book?  Maybe they want the occasional picture every chapter or so.  Do you have comic books in the house?  YES they count.  What about non-fiction?  Maybe your daughter would be interested in hearing about famous women in sports or your son is naturally curious about butterflies.  Try some books that have also been made into a movie and then compare the difference with your kids.

I've tried everything and they still don't want to read.

Do your kids see you read?  I'm not saying you have to read Jane Austen, but even watching you spend fifteen minutes actively reading a magazine is better than nothing.  

Do not make reading an option, at a certain time at night turn the TV off and everyone spend fifteen minutes reading something together.  Just because your child is older, they may just want to spend time in the room with you.  So everyone lounging about the living room for fifteen minutes shows them you feel reading is important, but so is being in a room together.

Finally talk about what your kids are reading.  At the end of the day you are responsible for your children and their actions.  You need to know that they are comprehending what they are reading and finding a way to deal with it.  My older kids knew that at any given moment I would grab a copy of whatever book they were reading and read it too.  We never had a problem with inappropriate literature in our house (unlike my mother who bought me The Graduate to read in the fifth grade).  But even better we could hold discussions about it, what they thought about actions, what they would have done differently, etc.  You can do this with young children too.  Just sayin'.

"You're Child Has Lice"

No one wants to get that call from the school, yet it happens.  Kids jackets all hang up closely together where bugs can crawl from one jacket to another.  Teenage girls share brushes.  Not to mention our kids have friends who spend the night.  So do you bundle your kids in a plastic ball, homeschool them and tell them they are never allowed to see their friends?  That's a bit extreme.  There are over the counter COSTLY chemicals that you can put in your kids hair daily.  I have always kept 2 Tablespoons of Eucalyptus oil in my shampoo (shake it before using it) and washed my hair daily.  When my kids got it, I didn't (it didn't work for them because as small children we didn't wash their hair every single day).  A friend of mine uses 2 Tablespoons of Tea Tree oil in her shampoo the same way.  

The above picture is the various stages of lice BLOWN UP.  Lice are small little buggers.

Above are pictures of what the eggs will look like in blondish and brown hair.  The bugs are just slightly larger.

So what do you do if you have lice?  Well I think shaving your kids head bald is extreme, we surround ourselves with toxic chemicals everyday, so let's not add more chemicals to our kids heads.  Here is a simple, common sense treatment for lice.  There is an important trick, the quicker you take care of this the quicker it is over.  It may even be in eyebrows and eyelashes.

• Bag up all the stuffies in your house and leave them in the garage for two weeks.  If your kids have a few that they can't live without, wash them in 130 degree water and then dry them in high heat for twenty minutes.  

• Wash all of your bedding in 130 degree water and dry in high heat for twenty minutes (but it's going to be longer, let's be honest.

• Vacuum beds, carpets, corners of beds, couches etc.  We're talking deep clean.  Do not dump your vacuum in the house, take it outside and dump it.  Then go back in the house and keep going with your deep cleaning.

• You can either throw away barrette's, combs, brushes, etc.  Soak them in boiling hot water (good luck not melting them), or spray them with rubbing alcohol.

• I've seen recommendations to spray your bed, etc with bleach water.  But let's be real, your kids will be inhaling this and it's dangerous.  Just spend the time vacuuming.  Use a an upholstery brush or a nail brush to dig deep on the edges of beds where they can be hiding.

• Take some vegetable oil and warm it (key words are warm, not boil it), if you can comfortably tolerate the oil on your wrist you should be okay on the stove top and then pour it in a zip lock bag.  Have the members in your house wearing crappy clothing and sitting in the kitchen or somewhere that has a tile floor.  Carefully poor the oil from the top of the head down.  It helps to have the family member hold a wash cloth over their eyes as a buffer zone.  You will probably see the lice falling out of their hair, and that is fantastic.  Bag their hair for twenty or thirty minutes while you clean up the mess.

Okay so it's been twenty minutes, what now?  Sit them down and section their hair into small sections starting with the top.  Carefully comb their hair with a nit comb starting from their scalp and go all the way to the end.  Make sure you clean the nit comb often.  The heat from the oil should help melt the glue on the eggs.  The kids hair will be so slippery the bugs and eggs SHOULD slide right out.

If it is in their eyebrows and eyelashes, you are going to have to comb their eyebrows.  To get rid of it in eye lashes you will have to smear petroleum jelly on the eyelashes and comb them out while your kid is squiggling and mistrusting you.  Did I tell you this would be easy?  Nope.  In the long run, you may wind up visiting your doctor about the eyelash ice if you can't get rid of them.  But doing it this way is cheaper and as safe as natural remedies get.

When you're done, wash their hair like normal but add some Tea Tree oil to their shampoo.  It will help alleviate any discomfort from scratching the bugs.  Check their head, bedding, etc every few days for signs of re-infestation.

SHOPPING LIST

Tea Tree or Eucalyptus oil (prevention)

vegetable oil

large zip lock bags

nit comb

rubbing alcohol

spray bottle

large garbage bags

petroleum jelly (if you have eyelash lice)

A LOT OF PATIENCE FOR EVERYONE

I am not going to lie.  I am blessed, I am blessed a thousand times over and I know it.  Two of my kids have Autism, but they are so high-functioning that people forget they have it.  I forget they have it.  So when a tendency pops up it takes me by surprise.  That said, I always have a plan B to try and prevent things from going wrong.

Whenever we go to Walt Disney World I always give my kids a lanyard and attach the fabulously decorated luggage tag that Disney so kindly supplies me with.  In this tag I have my child's name, my name, a phone number for everyone in the party, and any special instructions.  For instance my ten year old daughter will run and hide if she is scared or perceives that people are laughing at her.  It's hard to find her if she doesn't want to be found, so I think this is an important thing for someone to know if we get separated.

Parenting fail, I never do this when we go somewhere local.  For some reason I assume that I have zero risk of losing my kids in local places like the children's museum.  In March I turned my back for five seconds to hand a wallet to an employee for their lost and found.  When I turned around she was gone.  My eleven year old and eight year old stayed together and I frantically tried to search for her without losing sight of the main staircase.  It was the longest three minutes of my life, there wasn't even an employee around to enlist their help.  When my eleven year old started bouncing up and down, flapping his arms like a maniac the relief I felt was so sweet.

That night I wondered why I didn't have the kids wear their lanyards more often?  It's not often that I lose sight of them (in fact I have never needed them at Disney, ironic eh?), but why wouldn't I have them wear these beautiful, sanity saving items when we went to the park, the mall, children's museum?

That said, I did some research about what goes into these fabulous child identity kit's for missing kids.  These are simple things that you can do at home.  You can upload them to a family web site that is password protected, keep hard copies at home, in the car, etc....  But here is the general information you can expect a kit to contain:

• Important information:  Child's name, address, birthdate, allergies, birthmarks, medications, and anything else that will help authorities do their job.
• Detailed physical description:  Again birthmarks, scars, tattoo's...
• Fingerprint's!  You can take your child to get these done accurately, but if you can't afford it try following this video by CrimeScene.com.
• Recent photo of your child.  Update your photo every 6 months.  I always take photo's of my kids, on my phone and post them on Facebook (cough cough), to family members, everywhere you can think of.  So even if you update your child file every six months, be sure to take a picture of your kids in their outfit before y'all head out on your adventure.  If your child goes missing, you might not remember details about their outfit!

Blackboard Dining Table

I'm either the most self-punishing person I know, or the most hopeful.  I always, always do things with my kids with these visions of how wonderful they will be.  With each new idea I just know my kids will go along with it, not fight, be kind to each other....  Like I said self-punishing or most hopeful.

I have this really old dining room table.  Half of it was painted red, and the other half was fuzzy from where an arts & crafts project went wrong.  I hated this table, but at the same time I'm not going to throw out a perfectly good table and then have to replace it.  So I decided to make it a blackboard.  I just knew I had hit on something, that my kids were going to be drawing pictures and playing "paper and pencil" games on that table while I cooked dinner and even afterwards.  I envisioned uplifting messages being left from one sibling to the next (I should tell you, my kids are ages 20, 18, 16, 11, 10, and 8).  Now in reality I was expecting the teenagers to leave rude, snarky comments, to one another.

 Do you see what I mean?  Horrid, ugly table. Cute kid though.

So it wasn't as easy as I thought.  I tried sanding it with sandpaper.  My hands were cramped, I thought I was done, and then the boyfriend walked in and said I didn't sand it enough.  Luckily he ran out, grabbed a sander that I did not know we had and sanded the table for me.  No more fuzz, but still red.

I purchased a quart of Rust-Oleum black blackboard paint for about $15 and a small rolling brush.  Three coats of paint later and 72 hours of curing time and we have a fantastic blackboard table.  I wish I could say the same for the copper paint edging.  It took more than a week to dry, and it needs a third, possibly a fourth coat.  But I'm not sure I want to go another week without a dining room table.

Here are some snippets of the fun we have (and the snarky from the teenagers *L*).

Not too bad if I do say so.  I have a ton of paint left over, wonder what I will paint next???

Balloon Volleyball

Just a few weeks ago my three youngest and I went to Disney World for a three day trip.  Not counting the long thirteen hour drive (MapQuest you lie, it's not twelve hours after stopping, even if you speed) it was a blast.

Our third morning we had nothing planned except pool time.  Bless my youngest daughter, she wakes up with the same amount of energy and excitement as she faces her entire day with.  Her brothers and I, not so much.  The youngest son wouldn't even wake up he was so tired *L*.  I didn't just want to throw her in front of the TV while I stared at my pain ridden feet.  Instead I remembered one of my favorite things as a kid, balloon volleyball.  And will you just look at that, All Star Movie resort just happened to give us four or five balloons when we checked in.

So the bed was our buffer zone and we stood on each side of the bed playing balloon volleyball and laughing hysterically.  Even the ultra-cool eleven year old jumped in on the action.

Parenting Win!

Tea Party

Kids are spending more time with technology and less time doing things like tea parties.  Why not bring back the tea party with your daughters and maybe your sons?

In advance make some "fancy sandwiches".  Make whatever sandwiches your kids will eat (this is about having fun, not causing tears), cut off the edges and cut them in four.  If your kids will help you, it's all the more fun.  Will your kids drink tea?  If not make something they will drink and pour it into a tea pot.  Grab a few small sized cookies (or make them) for your table.

Set the table for tea.  If you don't have a pretty table cloth, use an old sheet spread out over the table (or on the ground outside).  Plates for the food, tea cups and saucers, napkins, and of course the lovely food and tea pot.

Have everyone dress the part (yep even you who is reading this).  If your daughters don't have dresses, have them dress in their best.  Add some dollar store beads, and gloves and your tea time is ready to go.  It's the perfect time to practice manners, sharing, and conversational skills.

**If it's just you and your child, maybe invite a teddy bear or two

Critter Walk

This can be done with any age kids, you just need to know what your kids will and will not do.  I got this idea from my kids.  On Easter we always lay out real eggs and plastic eggs.  The kids will hide the plastic eggs over and over for each other.  So why not use critters?

We live in the city, so the majority of nature is on the highway and in our backyards.  And honestly I'd have a heart attack if I saw a huge snake in my backyard so it is safe to say I'm not opposed to fake critters.

Grab some plastic critters from your dollar store, make some fake butterflies with the kids (1 dimensional or 3 dimensional, it doesn't matter), grab some fake birds from a craft store, you are only limited by your imagination in this.  Once you have everything, sneak outside and "plant" them around your yard.  Maybe clip a butterfly or two to a bush, have a toy snake sneaking his head out of a potted plant, make a birds nest and place the nest and bird in the tree, you're getting the idea.

Then when everything is placed somewhere, give each of the kids an old recycled milk gallon and have them go look for the critters.  Whoever has the most critters gets to hide the critters while everyone goes inside, and the game starts all over again.